Back to School Guilt
As this post is being written most of you with kids will have just completed your first week back to school. And what a week that was! Catching up on school friends news and school news. Finding out who did what during the holidays and what's new at school is now lodged in the back of many a parent's brain to be stored and called upon as needed.
As we enter the 2nd full week of the school return, my mind turns to those that are starting primary and secondary school this year and those that are ending their primary and secondary experiences. I look at the mum and dads dropping off their 4 and 5 year olds to their respective reception classes, the strained look on some faces as they encourage their little people to head into the classroom and it makes me ask the question - Why do we feel so guilty that first time dropping our kids to school?
Is it seeing that little person looking so formal in their brand spanking new uniform (even if they are now big 11 year olds) something that automatically makes us suddenly reflect on life and what's next for our offspring? The questions that churn in the parent mind such as what will they encounter in that big classroom today (without us)? Will they like what's on offer for lunch (a lunch we didn't provide)? Will they remember to wash their hands after using the bathroom (because we are not there to remind them and most of our kids are just nasty right)? Even when they get to secondary school and are perfectly capable young people we still feel guilty for not dropping them at the school gate, not being in the classroom to help fend off the bullies (because it goes without thought that all classes have bullies), not being there to guide them to all these classes they are expected to find their way to after only 2 weeks in this new school. So many many thoughts run through the parents head that the stress then builds up.
The guilt is inevitable but the guilt is destructive. Destructive for both the parent and the child. Children are at an advantage. They have no such guilt and therefore none of that additional unnecessary stress which ultimately means that they just get on with their day. Guilt free! Yes Guilt Free!
So with that in mind I have a few suggestions to stay that guilt free (kick them out of the car at the school gate or as close as possible to it) type of parent in first weeks of new to school.
Here are a few signs that your child is happy to go to school (because even us experienced parents have to be reminded sometimes).
- Walking off into the classroom before you have the chance to form the words 'Bye Bye' leaving you hanging man! - Hint: A Happy child!
- Running towards the school gate, leaving you dragging your ass behind at slow poke pace because A. you had one glass too many last night or B. you have the prospect of a desk and no daylight for the next 8 hours waiting for you or C. both option A. and B. combined with the ridiculous annoying colleague who always wants to disrupt your day with their inane chat about not finding the right shoes! (torture) - Hint: That's a happy kid!
- Telling you that you can go once they reach the top of the road and you are nowhere near the school gate hence less opportunity for you to cramp their style - Hint: Very HAPPY kid!
- Telling you that they will be late because they have joined the Gymnastics Club, Football Club, IT Club, Chess Club, Debating Group, Netball Club and any other club that they could find to throw into the mix just because they have their own door key now club!
See what I did there?
Happy Kids, Happy Kids, Happy Kids
So stop worrying
Take a deep breath
Pat yourself on the back
and let your kids get on with their day.
YOU ARE DOING A GREAT JOB!!!!!
