Stress Free London Easter

Stress Free London Easter

Easter in London with kids can be super expensive. It is not so much the cost of getting into to places. The majority of museums in London especially the major ones are all free. It is mainly the cost of feeding the little ones once out in Central London or near it that really empties the pockets. The gift shop is another money eater but really that part might be my issue as I'm a bit partial to a gift shop purchase. Something to do with the 'memory' of the event I guess.

With this in mind and determined to make this easter as stress free and pocket friendly as possible, I have put together some ideas to survive the easter holidays with both my mind and my wallet in tact.

Hope this is helpful to you also if you live here and are new to London or are planning to visit anytime soon.

As I mentioned, one of the major spends whilst exploring London is on food. However, there are cheaper alternatives (NOT just McDonalds) if you are prepared to seek them out. Lifestyle magazine The Londonist have a great list of cheap eats near the main museums here. And of course Google Maps extra service  which shows you what's nearby is also a good way to eat out on a budget. If the weather is good it's a good idea to pack a packed lunch for the day and simply come out of the museum and eat in the local squares and gardens which are dotted near every single major museum. Some museums such as the The Horniman Museum and Gardens have such beautiful gardens attached it would be a shame to not sit with a picnic and enjoy the views on a nice day.

Picture of a part of Horniman Museum Gardens

If you plan carefully that usual £100 day out could be just £20 or less. Great for buying that new bag/outfit/garden furniture you've had your eye on. Oops sorry the garden furniture bit is just me. ☺.
As I was saying... it is a saving! Who doesn't want to save cash and still have a great experience?

London is not just about 'culture' there are so many local parks and woods especially in south London that make for a good time. If you don't live south, phone a friend or find a friend that lives that side of the river because the parking alone will save you a fortune with the exception of areas such as Putney and Battersea; but you always get the awkward ones right? A few of the bigger parks will sometimes host Easter trails for the younger kids which you can pick up at the park information hut for free or sometimes for a small contribution so it is worth having a go if you want to get the little ones excited before you find your 'I'm not getting up from here' spot in the park. And of course before you head out throw a ball, frisbee, book or even bubbles for the little ones in a bag so they can keep themselves amused for that twenty minute interval when you've found your 'spot' and you just want to sit down.  Of course it does help to meet up with friends and family if possible to make that rest interval last longer.

For those inside days (yes, you definitely need a plan for the inside day thanks to the English weather), movie marathon, dance competition, charades, a few 'Simon says' games are all great inexpensive options even if you are stuck in the hotel. I did come across a 3 in a row game made with a marker, some tape and disposable plates that looked like a good hotel option but haven't tried it yet personally. If you do try this do let me know.

Easter is also a great time to teach some cooking skills and at the same time remind or re-introduce your family to some of the traditional food that is eaten mainly at easter. No - Not just chocolate Easter Eggs but things like Jamaican Bun and Cheese, Hot Cross Buns, Hard Boiled Eggs dyed Red to symbolize the blood of Christ (a tradition in Greece), Paska (Russian Sweet Bread) and too many others to name. This is a great inexpensive one for those with pre-teens. Lets be honest not everyone can afford regular Jump Giants (indoor trampolining) trips or clothes shopping trips at Westfield. Although to keep this particular activity stress free might require patience on the part of the adult and a 'I will not take over!' mantra on repeat in one's head, but still a great memory to make even if you burn the food. Pizza anyone???

Have a stress free easter folks!

Mummy's Job....according to my six year old

Mummy's Job....according to my six year old.

I had an interesting conversation with my six year old daughter on the walk to school this morning. Whilst avoiding the dog poo on the pavement, (we live near a park with some irresponsible dog owners) she came out with this statement. Quite random but I've come to expect this from my six year old. So this is how the conversation went.

Six  year old - 'Mummy, you have three jobs!'
Me              - 'I do?'
Six year old  - 'Yeah...you have to be a mum, a 'rememberer' and a mum that has to go to a job to get money'
Me             - 'Aaah ok!'

Quite satisfied with laying that little nugget of wisdom, we then proceeded to play I spy the rest of the way.

Usually these conversations might get put to the back of the brain and maybe recalled for future reference but this one stayed with me all day. It just made me smile. To think a six year can be so in tune that they can essentially sum up what most of us mums do everyday.

We do have 3 jobs. We have a multitude of jobs. We are mothers and of course that includes everything from cooking and cleaning to playmate and nurse/doctor.

But we are also 'rememberers' as my daughter phrased it. What is interesting is that my daughter chose to see this as a separate part of being a mum. I asked her later what she meant by 'rememberers' and she explained that I am the one she turns to share the memories that she has of different events that we have done together as well as the one who remembers what days friends are coming over or she going to them. Quite simple right? Her view was interesting as my first thought at hearing  the word 'rememberers' was that I was the unpaid family secretary and organiser, which I am not denying that I am. But for my six year old and probably for the other young children, our job as parents is to facilitate the creation memories for them. Whether that be getting together with family or going to explore a new park, museum exhibit or play area. Or even just walking to school playing eye spy. Its all about creating positive memories throughout childhood that ultimately will sustain you as an adult, especially through difficult times.

Creating memories in the park

Thing is you don't have to be a mother to be a 'rememberer' because the fact is as girls we are just raised to be the one that remembers the birthdays, the christenings, and every other special event in the lives of family and friends. Aunties, Girlfriends, Sister in laws, Grandmothers are all 'rememberers' and together we help sustain the character of the next generation.

A pretty positive thought on International Women's Day and a good way to take one into Women's History Month March 2017.



Would you agree?

Birthday party 101!

Birthday party 101!

Last year I had a Birthday celebration for my 11 year old. It was a simple gathering. Her and a few of her friends went to a climbing lesson at the local sports centre and then came back to our house for pizza. It was 6 children in all as this was the booking I could get with the sports centre for a day close to my daughter's actual birthday. Now here is where it got tricky!

Who do you invite?

I left it to my daughter to chose the 5 other boys and girls that would join her. Which of course meant that some of her friends didn't get an invite. There was no malicious intent it was simply a question of numbers. However, it is this question of numbers that can really get a parent into trouble. Especially with other parents who feel that their child should have been one of the 5 children and so decide to take out their frustration by avoiding you at all possible costs. But at least they didn't say 'cash me outside!' ☺. I'm not about that life!

The reaction I thought was a little bit over the top. But looking at comments on Mums website NetMums the responses were quite mixed and led me to think of this 101! guide for Birthday parties; which I feel maybe should be given to every parent alongside their starting school pack just to remind them that a 'non-invite' does not mean your child is not liked. Nursery/Primary school age seems to be the time when this situation is likely to occur the most. By the time they get to Secondary school we don't know half their friends and our kids tend to (THANKFULLY) selectively invite people to more small events like paint-balling or cinema anyway.

I'm not an expert by any stretch of the imagination (in particular my crazy imagination). This guide is just a suggestion for those like myself to refer back to when faced with this dilemma.

It's just a suggestion!

Everyone has feelings and of course it is only natural for parents to be protective of their children. But if with every party 'non-invite' we pass on the idea to our children that not being invited to something will always mean that you are not liked; we could be setting them up to have a pretty pessimistic view of life. We all need to the skill of Resilience in life to deal with adversity. For example I could only get 3 likes for my profile pic on Facebook but I still know I am beautiful!

Seriously though..do you really want your child to go through life being the 'people pleaser', the ' one who always says yes' because they don't have the confidence to say no? The one person that always gets taken advantage of. Do you want them to be the type of person that only values the 'superficial' over the 'real' in life or even worse not be able to distinguish between the two?  What did you say? - You do! Stop reading now! For those of you who don't want this path for children thanks for sticking with this post so far.

Resilience is an important life skill. Well it must be... why else do teachers and education experts keep talking about it? Resilience_in_schools_health_inequalities Report 2014. It is definitely a skill some of us as parents were never taught in school or at home and so had to learn the hard way. So where better to start teaching this skill to our kids than with the inevitable 'non party invite' situation.

It's just a thought!

Black Girl's PCOS - Challenge Accepted! ....21 days in

Black Girl's PCOS - Challenge Accepted! .....21 days in

So this is an update on my PCOS lose weight, reduce sugar diet where the goal is to lose 5% of my body weight.

And 21 days in....it has definitely been interesting! A whirlwind of ideas in fact!
For the last 21 days I have been eating fresh fruit and vegetables only....NOT. I've not lost the plot don't worry. I've always been told that man cannot live by VEG alone! And this WO(man) certainly can't. Not after 40 years of meat & fish passing my lips. Plus this challenge is not about drastic measures.

Therefore in the interest of doing this without using extreme measures (like deliberately starving oneself) I have decided to follow 2 diets that seem to meet the recommendations of all those medical websites I've trawled through prior to embarking on my challenge. I've chosen to test the Whole 30 lifestyle and the Alkaline Diet. The 2 diets have been split over 6 weeks to see which one A)Works best at shifting those stubborn pounds and B) actually makes me feel more energized and not deprived.

In theory both diets should do the same thing but the key to staying with something is (I've found) feeling good about it. For example we all join the gym with the intention of going regularly but soon those regular visits get shunted in favour of drinks after work, shopping with girlfriends, lazing on the sofa to get through the boxset that everyone is talking about before it becomes yesterday's thing. You get the drift...

So the challenge is to eat whole unprocessed food and specific alkaline heavy food while still feeding my kids the same food they have gotten used to before this PCOS challenge started. I have thought about swapping everyone over to the new eating regime but unlike some mums I have to have my arsenal ready tested before going into to battle, so if this works their time will come.

So far the whole 30 lifestyle has been relatively easy to do. I don't eat much junk food anyway so it has been all about picking the options that suit the lifestyle. Basically I swap stuff or I just leave things off my plate. So in effect I cook one meal for everyone but leave out the item that doesn't suit the whole 30 theory 

Below is an example of the dinner swaps I have done in order to accommodate the first part of these new eating choices. The family might have chicken with rice and peas for Sunday dinner but I'll have just the chicken with fresh salad or couscous. I still get the protein but less of the carbohydrates. 

So as you can see from my sample menu, I swap the heavy carbohydrates when I can. The results so far have been promising. I have lost around 9 pounds since starting 21 days ago and therefore I am on target. 

My only vice is that glass of red wine that calls to me at least twice a week but I think without this treat I would feel super deprived. However as it is, the Whole 30 lifestyle has been pretty manageable. 

We shall see if the next 21 days of eating Alkaline can beat Whole 30. 

See you soon folks 

❤👌✌

Black Girl's PCOS Challenge - (Accepted)!

Black Girl's PCOS Challenge - (Accepted!).

Didn't know there was such a thing? Well allow me to enlighten you. It is actually Polycystic Ovary Syndrome or PCOS for short. That is the hormonal imbalance that has plagued this black girl for the last few years.

And it all came out (so to speak) when I simply couldn't understand why I could not last longer than an hour or so between visits to the loo.  It did feel like I had turned into a fountain and someone else was turning me on and off. Crazy right? Probably not crazy for some of you who have already had kids.  So anyway back to my point. I decided to have this 'irregular' toilet use investigated and you know that saying 'don't open a can of worms'. Yes I opened a can of worms. And this worm happens to Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. Won't bore you with the specifics like how it gets diagnosed or treatment options. If you are intelligent enough to be reading this blog, you can Google it.

One of the things that have an impact on this condition is being overweight. So this year I have decided to make a concerted effort to lose weight to help me to cope with the excess hair (not growing on my head), the extended menstrual bleeds, tiredness and other niggles that may or may not be linked to PCOS but will probably benefit from some weight loss too. Apart from the emotional distress there is some financial distress from having PCOS. I mean at the rate I'm going hair removal cream, threading treatments, pads and tampons will soon bankrupt me!! Well maybe not as dramatic as that but one can hardly think of buying that sexy skin tight pair of jeans when she's got big pads stuck in her pants from yet another unexpected visit from mother nature!!

So on the 1st week of the year, the challenge has begun to reduce my PCOS symptoms so life can really be enjoyed to the full.

My goal is to lose at least 20 pounds which will meet the 5% recommended weight loss I have been reading on every medical site imaginable (or at least the ones loaded onto the Internet).

Decided to ditch the carbs and sugar or well drastically reduce them and not eat past 6pm. Might have the odd glass of wine, after all woman cannot live on carrot sticks alone. Can she??? or rather Why should she??? I will also aim to exercise more by walking and yoga. This is kind of an experiment which I hope will work as the light skin with dark facial hair (ie the beard) look and the 2 week menstrual bleeds have definitely lost their novelty factor.

My current comfort is knowing that every other 40 something woman is probably also on a diet this week if not this month so at least I'm not the odd one out with the basket full of veg at the supermarket. It'll be the guy over there with the 7 pack of chocolate bars and cola. Mmmm....Chocolate........

Ooops sorry daydreaming there for a minute.

Would love to hear any tips from those of you who have had PCOS and gone on a weight loss journey to control your symptoms.

Wish me luck!!

Follow my journey.

S.A.S syndrome

S.A.S Syndrome

I am a parent and I am suffering from S.A.S SYNDROME. Thats School application stress (S.A.S) for all United Kingdom residents.

This is the right school for you Primary 

Sorry, just had to get that confession out there....

So for those of you who don't live in the UK or whose kids are still under four, allow me to explain this phenomenon which has only really cropped up over the last decade or so. This is because of the perception that most comprehensive schools are rubbish and grammar school or church school is the best. This is a whole different subject so I'll cover that in another post. For now am just looking at S.A.S.

In the U.K. every October thousands of parents have to go through the process of applying for Primary, Secondary or Tertiary places for their offspring. This process is now done online through a centralized computer system that supposedly matches the applicant to the school with a place out of their six available choices for primary and secondary education and five choices for tertiary education. Sounds simple right? Definitely not simple!

Its a process rigged with catches where you as the parent start to panic about everything from not living next to a 'good' school to not choosing the right university course for that teenager who is about the embark on one of the most important periods in their lives. The process is designed to encourage self doubt. Even the application list for primary and secondary school encourages self doubt with its preference rating for schools. The idea is that you list the schools in your application according to the one you like the most down to the one you like the least. I mean you look at the list and start to wonder if you should put the the school you really really want but don't actually live next to first. Or should you be practical and put the school you actually live next to but hate with a passion because the kids at the chip shop after school do nothing but scream like banshees and shout like gorillas being let out their cages every afternoon at 3.30pm. I mean talk about pitching the "practical parent" against the "aspiring parent" or the "I'm too hippy/pally with my kids to be a parent to actually parent so i'll let you choose schools" against the "you will do what I tell you at all times and I don't care if you hate the look of the school or don't want to go to the same school as your older sibling parent". It's a conspiracy against parents!!! OK, maybe not but it can feel like it sometimes.

For those of us who can't try to rig the process by moving house to get into that sought after primary school or secondary school (Yes this does happen, and is quite common!); October is the probably the most stress filled month of the year before Xmas. It even beats the School summer holiday for stress levels. At least the sun is shining during the summer (well kind of !). Summer months are definitely warmer so this makes it all seem a bit easier to handle. In fact here's an idea. Why don't we have this school application process during the first week of the summer holidays. Lower stress levels as the sunshine keeps people smiling. It's the most expensive air fare week of the entire year so most of us can't afford to jump on a plane anyway which means loads of people are around for school visits. Yes lets do that.

Maybe someone will start a campaign.

PLEASE.... someone start a campaign. I am too busy dealing with my S.A.S.

Am going to do some yoga now for S.A.S relief

Until the next post!

Ditch the back to school guilt

Back to School Guilt 

As this post is being written most of you with kids will have just completed your first week back to school. And what a week that was! Catching up on school friends news and school news. Finding out who did what during the holidays and what's new at school is now lodged in the back of many a parent's brain to be stored and called upon as needed. 

As we enter the 2nd full week of the school return, my mind turns to those that are starting primary and secondary school this year and those that are ending their primary and secondary experiences. I look at the mum and dads dropping off their 4 and 5 year olds to their respective reception classes, the strained look on some faces as they encourage their little people to head into the classroom and it makes me ask the question - Why do we feel so guilty that first time dropping our kids to school? 

Is it seeing that little person looking so formal in their brand spanking new uniform (even if they are now big 11 year olds) something that automatically makes us suddenly reflect on life and what's next for our offspring? The questions that churn in the parent mind  such as what will they encounter in that big classroom today (without us)? Will they like what's on offer for lunch (a lunch we didn't provide)? Will they remember to wash their hands after using the bathroom (because we are not there to remind them and most of our kids are just nasty right)? Even when they get to secondary school and are perfectly capable young people we still feel guilty for not dropping them at the school gate, not being in the classroom to help fend off the bullies (because it goes without thought that all classes have bullies), not being there to guide them to all these classes they are expected to find their way to after only 2 weeks in this new school. So many many thoughts run through the parents head that the stress then builds up. 

The guilt is inevitable but the guilt is destructive. Destructive for both the parent and the child. Children are at an advantage. They have no such guilt and therefore none of that additional unnecessary stress which ultimately means that they just get on with their day. Guilt free! Yes Guilt Free! 

So with that in mind I have a few suggestions to stay that guilt free (kick them out of the car at the school gate or as close as possible to it) type of parent in first weeks of new to school. 

Here are a few signs that your child is happy to go to school (because even us experienced parents have to be reminded sometimes). 

1. Walking off into the classroom before you have the chance to form the words 'Bye Bye' leaving you hanging man! - Hint: A Happy child!
2. Running towards the school gate, leaving you dragging your ass behind at slow poke pace because A. you had one glass too many last night or B. you have the prospect of a desk and no daylight for the next 8 hours waiting for you or C. both option A. and B. combined with the ridiculous annoying colleague who always wants to disrupt your day with their inane chat about not finding the right shoes! (torture) - Hint: That's a happy kid!
3. Telling you that you can go once they reach the top of the road and you are nowhere near the school gate hence less opportunity for you to cramp their style - Hint: Very HAPPY kid! 
4. Telling you that they will be late because they have joined the Gymnastics Club, Football Club, IT Club, Chess Club, Debating Group, Netball Club and any other club that they could find to throw into the mix just because they have their own door key now club! 

See what I did there? 

Happy Kids, Happy Kids, Happy Kids 

So stop worrying

Take a deep breath 

Pat yourself on the back 

and let your kids get on with their day. 

YOU ARE DOING A GREAT JOB!!!!!